I'll admit it, I drank all the New Age kool aid. I wanted to gorge myself on as much bliss, happiness, self-directed creating, oneness and connection with God until I actually morphed into the laughing big-bellied Buddha. I had so much fun exploring nearly every New York Times top ten books in the New Age/Self-Help category for a good twenty years. It was a glorious time. I had discovered my new religion. The exploration of having a personal one on one relationship with God is what filled my soul and healed so many wounds that had been created through the misaligned dogma of main stream religion. I was in heaven on earth for quite some time. Many of the things I read during that time helped form the positive, compassionate, non-judging, loving and empathetic aspects of who I am today. Trust me when I tell you this is a good thing. If I had followed my parent's example, I would be quite a different person - and not a very nice one. I will never seek to change the special formula that still continues to nourish my soul. I don't want to give anyone a misimpression by the title of this post that I am fully rejecting all that I learned. I still believe what I believe and what has remained true, still remains true.
This post has more to do with the holes that are appearing in some of the latest craze of New Age thinking. I belong to a couple of New Age type Meet-Ups and I frustrate the heck out of the poor group members when I ask the questions I ask. No one seems to be able to reconcile these glaring discrepancies or questions. I've seen the look on some peoples faces like "How could you possibly question this? It was on Oprah for Pete's sake!"
It is only through my current experience that I have been brought to ask these questions. Life itself, as it moves through me, is demanding new and better answers.
I'm going to ruffle some feathers here. I'm going to request some answers around the whole affirmation thing. Two of the greatest teachers of the Path of the Affirmation are Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson. Both super well-respected and bubbly, always happy embodiments of how these tools work for them. However, I have to challenge this whole affirmation thing. At what point does something like repetitive, obsessively positive, carefully crafted, word-smith'd affirmations become incantations of superstition?
When the process is described by these two great gurus, it sounds so obviously magical and there is no question about their effectiveness. However, where the disjoint exists for me is that there are all these cautions thrown in about the do-it-yourself versions (with gasping admonitions towards people in Oprah's audience that try to clumsily craft their own). "Be careful how you word your affirmations so that you don't get what you don't want." "You have to word your affirmations carefully so that you override the subconscious that wants to disbelieve what you are requesting." "You might have to start with an affirmation that you can believe, that won't scream in disbelief as compared to your current circumstances." "Wording of your affirmations must address the root cause, and overrides early childhood programming." The cautions go on and on and on.
So at what point do these affirmations then turn into a form of superstitious nonsense? If they are "affirm"ations (affirm -State as a fact; assert strongly and publicly), then why don't they just work on their own without carefully crafted wording? If these words are so powerful, why don't they just automatically override the subconscious or childhood programming? For something that is supposed to be such an easy to use tool to change your life, it sure has a lot of pitfalls.
And now let's assume that we have worded everything carefully, taken the time to construct wording that will magically override our current reality, childhood programming and subconscious rejection. And we place those affirmations all over the house; on mirrors and refrigerators, on desks and coffee tables, on car visors and in our purse and then we tie a little string on our finger to remember to recite these affirmations repetitively throughout the day. And, much to our dismay, circumstances present themselves that continue to be the opposite of what we want. Or the affirmations simply don't work and we don't materialize our every dream through positive thinking. What happens then when we confront the gurus that their process didn't work?
Well, now we are faced with a new set of conditions. Perhaps we didn't really "release" our negative core beliefs, perhaps we didn't do it consistently enough, we gave up too soon, "WE WEREN'T THANKFUL ENOUGH FOR WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE". Holy crap! This response chaps my ass! So when all these magical elixirs of words and incantations don't work, it's because I wasn't thankful enough for the current crappy position I have in life that was the very thing I wanted to ditch in favor of a new and improved way of life!!! What the hell?!
This is where I begin to believe this whole positive thinking and affirmation thing is full of shit. Because I am indeed grateful for what I have and I acknowledge my blessings and thank God for my amazing husband and children and the dog and for working appliances and no roof leaks. So the come-back response from the New Age crowd? Well, maybe you were thankful, but weren't sincere. (Yes, this has been offered up by one of the Meetup participants as to why my affirmations weren't working) Are you kidding me? What do I have to do hire a skywriter?
I would like to believe that changing your life is as simple as writing something on a piece of paper. But the truth is, it's going to take a whole lot more than some words on a piece of paper to make things better most of the time. It takes grit, and perseverance, and a never-ending determination to keep pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. And you are going to feel other than grateful when bills can't be paid or you're headed for bankruptcy after your husband is laid off for the time since 2008. In the face of real life where you experience problems that bring you to your knees, a piece of paper with some superstitiously crafted phrases incanted with every inhalation and exhalation ad infinitum just doesn't seem to be the answer.
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